


undercurrent

by sunset_oasis



Series: Innocent Before Yesterday [10]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), not exactly non canon compliant in some manner of speaking, nothing really happened to be honest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-23 17:48:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10724202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunset_oasis/pseuds/sunset_oasis
Summary: For a halfblood teenager with an abusive muggle father, who'd been so eager to run away from the muggle culture, who'd been taunted in Slytherin house about his less-than-pure blood, Severus had long envied those purebloods from the old families. He'd wanted to become them.And Black - Black had had italland he'd beenthrowing it all away, turning away from what his family stood upon.So nice to have things to throw away, isn't it?The bitter thought had circled his mind for years.Somehow, it'd even maddened him more when he'd learned from Black's little brother Regulus, of how his chosen lifestyle had displeased their parents. Merlin, how could someone be so idiotic to continue doing so even after being hexed at his own home? Howstupidwas that?Regulus Black had given him a strange look, before drawling out, "If I didn't know you hate my brother, Severus, I would say you sound almostworried."





	undercurrent

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

 

 

The tension in the living room of Grimmauld 12th Place was skyrocketing high, despite - or perhaps because - no one was really talking. Severus wondered how he'd ended up on some Order paper work with that bloody idiot mutt Sirius Black. _Alone_.

He was determined to just ignore the other man, and it was quite clear that Black was doing the same. By some miracle, they _might_ just made it through tonight unscathed.

Or maybe not.

For some unfathomable reason, despite Severus's best efforts to ignore Black, he found himself keep stealing glances at the other man. Black had changed a lot since their school days, after all, 12 years of imprisonment in Azkaban left its mark. But underneath the paler and thinner look, there were some parts of him that still reminded him of the young Sirius Black.

Severus had loathed Sirius Black since they'd been eleven. Well, all four of the Marauders, really, but mostly Black. Sirius Black - annoyingly handsome with the Black genes running inside his blood, carefree and reckless personality that somehow managed to charm over 80% of his classmates and the teachers (Severus had _no idea_ why), coming from an Ancient and Noble House that made Severus jealous as hell, and flamboyantly throwing those all away, embracing everything the pureblood culture looked down upon.

For a halfblood teenager with an abusive muggle father, who'd been so eager to run away from the muggle culture, who'd been taunted in Slytherin house about his less-than-pure blood, Severus had long envied those purebloods from the old families. He'd wanted to become them.

And Black - Black had had it _all_ and he'd been _throwing it all away_ , turning away from what his family stood upon.

 _So nice to have things to throw away, isn't it?_ The bitter thought had circled his mind for years.

Somehow, it'd even maddened him more when he'd learned from Black's little brother Regulus, of how his chosen lifestyle had displeased their parents. Merlin, how could someone be so idiotic to continue doing so even after being hexed at his own home? How _stupid_ was that?

Regulus Black had given him a strange look, before drawling out, "If I didn't know you hate my brother, Severus, I would say you sound almost _worried_."

That'd been then.

He tried to focus on combing through the information from the Death Eaters in front of him, instead of Black's presence, or the memories of him.

It was - it was _distracting_.

Severus found himself subtly stealing glances again, taking in Black's aged-by-Azkaban figure and categorizing the parts of him that were still the same. He abruptly shook his head, annoyed at himself. It was _Sirius Black_ , for Merlin's sake. He'd hated him since eleven, he'd envied him, been jealous of him. He'd - he'd _watched_ him since eleven. Fuck, he'd _memorized_ him, a concept that frightened himself. He'd been disdainful about how Black seemed to have no real contributions to the Order while he himself risked his life being a spy. But he also couldn't forget the fact that Black had spent twelve years in Azkaban, a place where Severus thought himself should've ended up.

Worse, Black was so noble, so utterly idiotically _Gryffindor_ , that he'd believed himself guilty of not protecting the Potters. Merlin, if he only Black knew about who'd once delivered that prophecy, Severus thought bitterly.

Not that he _cared_ what Black might think on anything. But still -

\- alright, he might've cared just a bit.

He didn't want to care about Black's opinion on anything, he didn't want to develop some grudging respect for the fact that the man been imprisoned in Azkaban for 12 years, he didn't want some Gryffindor to keep sticking around his mind since the last few months - no, last 2 years - no, since they'd been goddamn _eleven_ -

"What?" Black's voice cut through his train of thoughts irritably, glaring at Severus's suspiciously, and Severus realized he'd not been as subtle as he thought. Severus was annoyed, but oddly welcomed the distraction because he couldn't bear continuing that train of thoughts any fucking longer.

"I -" he choked out, before smoothing himself back into a forced calm. "I have a staff meeting later, I need to leave now." Severus said, his voice sounded slightly hoarse but Black was a Gryffindor surely he wouldn't notice anything. Honestly though, Severus was usually _so much_ better at lying than this.

He hurried towards the floo and left in a lightning speed, completely missing the intense, thoughtful frown on Black's face.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr: ff-sunset-oasis.tumblr.com


End file.
